Letˋs talk deep – Nadine Richter

NADINE RICHTER


 

Nadine is living her dream in Munich. When she is not wakeboarding, she is surfing or enjoying her time at the mountain. She is making her money by working in a surfing hall. Below you get to know the thoughts of Nadine. We are happy that Nadine is showing her vulnerable side to us. Give yourself time and think about how your demons talk to you!

DEEP TALK 

„One of the tragic ironies of modern life is that so many people feel isolated from each other by the very feelings they have in common, including a fear of failure and a sense of not being enough.“This is one of the all-time favorite quotes I found in a book and trust me, I’ve done a bunch of quotes. I’ve exactly felt this way, let’s call it isolated, like probably a gazillion times before and I’m pretty sure, you, whoever’s reading this right now has felt the same way too, one or the other time. If you haven’t, I don’t know what or who you are, but you’re definitely not human! The funny thing about this is, that we cannot blame anyone or anything for feeling this way but OURSELVES. I’m not talking about traumatic events here just to make this clear. I’m talking about not feeling good enough about our bodies, our work results, or even our wakeboard progress (cause someone else is still shredding harder, we all have felt this before right?!). It’s on us to change that perception of it. And again I’m not talking about changing it as in working harder, losing weight, putting more makeup on, and so forth… Let’s face it, we are not gonna be any happier if we lose that extra pound or land that massive trick, yes, maybe briefly but not in the long run. What really is going to make the difference is changing our perception, embracing ourselves with compassion and loving-kindness. Some things are not gonna go away or change unless we change the way we look at it. 

And TALK about it. Talk to the people you feel comfortable and trusting with, tell them how you feel, what you’re struggling with. They might just be feeling the same way! We keep thinking that other people don’t struggle, because of what we see on the outside, as their social media. I’ll give you an example from my own experience.
Most people who don’t know me so well perceive me as this always-in-a-good-mood sunshine person. Well, this probably applies for a big amount of time. But what most people do not know or see is that I’ve been dealing with severe feelings of anxiety for quite a long period of time. As a matter of fact, I cannot remember too many periods in my life during those I would feel completely free from the intensity of those feelings. I’m not talking about the normal anxiety that appears to each of us on a regular basis (because that would rather be scary not to feel anxious at all). What I’ve been experiencing is intense health-related anxiety, fear of death (well at least now apparently the only thing I can die from is COVID), a massively stressful response from my body when I feel like I’ve done something wrong or that I am not enough for someone. Anyhow, what really knocked me down the most is that I used to think I’m all alone in this world. Alone with my weird thoughts & physical feelings and that I cannot be normal. I thought that everyone is so happy and I just cannot be happy ever again when I have all this destructive shit going on. 

But I started to talk about it to someone (a dear friend!) and we both realized that we’re having very similar struggles with anxiety. It feels so good to have someone who understands what you are going through and even if they are not going through the same shit, they will listen. They will try to understand. And even if they don‘t, who cares because they are not you and they don‘t need to understand and they definitely have no right to judge. We live in a vulnerable world and we need to show up as vulnerable as we are, in order to feel a real connection. 
Also, I’ve come to realize that all my bad feelings & thoughts will always come and go and the only thing I can do is to accept that I have and will always have anxiety and change my perception of it. Like, my anxiety has given me so much awareness for my body and myself, it’s incredible. There was this point where I realized that nothing and no one but myself stops me from being happy. And that I can be happy THUS my anxiety, if I am willing to accept it as a part of me. And I’m not saying it’s easy. I have to constantly remind myself of it (and sometimes it still doesn’t work and I lose myself in destructive thoughts for minutes or hours) but I’m working on it and I’ll have to keep working on it every single day for the rest of my life. I guess what I’m trying to say is, talk! Talk talk talk to people, show up and be real! Embrace life and every moment as if you had chosen it. And most importantly – keep shredding, cause it’s what keeps us all sane, isn’t it? 🙂